Angry at God

"People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord."     Prov. 19:3

I read this verse the other day and I can't get it out of my mind.  I have read it before but this time my eyes were open to really understanding what it meant for me and my life.  Of course there are things that happen in my life that are just a result of the sin in this world, BUT how many trials do I face because of my own foolishness?!  THEN I am angry at God because of the outcomes I have to face.  Such as....

Not being in the Word everyday and wondering why I can't hear the Holy Spirit as loud....

Not respecting my husband and wondering why our marriage isn't as strong as it could be....

Yelling at my children and wondering why they don't want to spend time with me....

Not eating right and wondering why I don't feel the best....

Spending money I don't have and wondering why we have debt....

The list could go on and on.  Thankfully I serve a God who is big enough to forgive my foolishness and when I confess my sins to him, he will purify me.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."     1 John 1:9

Expectations

I had to laugh yesterday because the very thing God has been teaching me the past few days was talked about at my bible study.  God must have known that I needed to hear it a few more times!

I have been struggling with expectations and didn't even realize it.  Before I start I do want to put in a little side note.  We are suppose to "expect" the promises that are in scripture...promises like God will never leave us or forsake us or that he will go before us and we do not have to be afraid (and many more!).  I am talking about something different.  : )

I realized that I was making choices expecting certain outcomes...that I somehow already knew what "blessings" God had in store for me as a result of my obedience.  Like "if I serve in this ministry I am sure I will make some new best friends" or "if I pray for this person they will accept Christ tomorrow."  I have realized that my frustration when I chose to serve somewhere or someone really came down to what I expected to happen or what I expected them to do.

The hardest one for me lately is with being sick.  I kept thinking that I was sick for this or that reason and once my reason had past I would be better.  But I wasn't.  Then I thought maybe its for my husband or my kids to learn something or maybe my parents or maybe someone I don't even know...or maybe it is just for me.  All I do know is that I can "expect" God to be good in this as well no matter how long it lasts.

So I am learning I need to let God be God and determine the outcome...because He does anyway!  And I need to obey just to obey and have no expectations....because God usually has bigger and better plans.  And also that He is faithful even when I am sick.  : )

"In his heart a man determines his course, but the Lord determines his steps."     Proverbs 16:9

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."     Jeremiah 29:11


"It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn your decrees.  I know, O Lord, that your judgements are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me."  Psalm 119:71&75

New focus

Have you ever felt squeezed?  In our Jonah study there was this illustration of lemons being squeezed.  And the point was only when God is squeezing you out can you truly be refreshing to others (lemonade). 

So lately I have felt squeezed....all over...from being sick, mothering, finances, etc.  This "squeezing has been somewhat of my focus.  But once again I felt God telling me that was not what he wanted from me.  He wants my focus to shift from myself onto others no matter how I feel.  Time for a new focus!

Proverbs 11:25b "he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed"