Saturday, May 12, 2012

What's next?

As I have been walking through this journey, the one thing I have wanted to keep a hold on is my closeness with Christ.  I want His Spirit in me to stay strong.  A few days after the marathon I was talking to a friend about this and saying I was wondering what was next for me.  Well God didn't make me wait to find out!!!  That same day I felt this small bump on the roof of my mouth and thought I must of just burned big deal.  I ended up going to a dentist two days later because the entire roof of my mouth was raw and I couldn't eat at all.  He then referred me to an oral surgeon who told me there is nothing to do but wait.....this is becoming a pattern in my life.  I wonder if God wants me to learn patience?!  : )  He wasn't sure if this was related to my other issues in my spine.  To add to this mouth thing I was literally hot one minute, actually sweating...then the next I was freezing. I also was nauseous, dizzy, and lightheaded all day....basically had to stay in bed.  This was from Monday until yesterday.  Not a great week by most people's standards.  Oh, I forgot to add that the oral surgeon gave me this "Magic Mouthwash" (actually called that) so I can gargle it before eating to numb my mouth.  It does numb it but it tastes horrible and makes all my food taste the same way!  So that is the background to what I am wanting to really write about.  I am so thankful I had such a hard was one of the hardest so far.  I had been slipping away from the Lord.  The medicine I am taking helps me walk now so I slowly started getting back into the "busyness" of life.  Not huge things, but big enough that I was not spending enough time with Him.  That changed my behavior, my attitude towards Matt and the kids, and towards others.  I was in bed crying (which I think I have done more of these past couple weeks than in my entire life!!), and just begging for healing from everything and my friend then told me this is your answered prayer.  What?!  She so nicely reminded me I had asked "What's next?" a few days ago.  At first I was like whatever, but then a little later I realized she was right.  God loves me so much that he slowed me down again.  He didn't let me go weeks or months or years and slip away.  After a few days He brought me back.  I am praying that if He is tugging on any one's heart right now that you will come back to Him.  His love is unbelievable and so is His joy and peace.  Nothing in this world could ever beat it!!  : )    

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